Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life.
I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

January 9, 2012

A Love Letter to My Darling Husband

I miss you so much.  It is not the same sleeping here without you.  I wake up and reach for you, but you're not here.  Feels so strange.  I sometimes wake up and have no idea where I am.  I am so so sorry you are so ill.  This is absolutely the most unacceptably horrible think that could ever happen.

These are the children that will grow up to bet amazing adults.  Watch for them.

You have taught my children and me so many valuable lessons that none of us would have ever known.  These lessons are engrained in all of us now.  "What would dad do?" will be the most common question asked in our home.  We'll think about it for more than 24 hours and then wait a little and make an informed decisions.

I guess in our end we want to know what I've done and what will I be remembered for.  I can promise you for sure that you will be remembered for being able to pass onto your children qualities like, character, honesty, level-headed, love, respect.  You will be remembered as this is this is what you've passed to your children.   Because of how we parented we have given our children the best opportunity to be great and beautiful people.

I told the children they will able to sit quietly and talk to you.  That you are able to hear them.  And then they will be able to make the right decision on their own.  I told Adelaide that I believe after die you're aware of what the people you love are doing.  I asked if she believed that, and she's not sure.  I told her I believe that Dad will give you a nudge when he needs to.  I told her I will keep her safe.  I told her she will be surrounded by people who love her.

A woman wrote to me and told me that there will never be a person who feels about our children the way you do.  I hadn't thought of that before.  I will be the only person who loves our children like a parent loves a child.  I will raise them as we have been raising them.  I will continue to press that going to college is a must - and being happy is also a must.  We will talk about you daily.  Many many times.  We will look at pictures, tell stories...laugh and cry a lot.  We will be so sad.  So so very sad.  The four of us we will be when seated at a restaurant, but we will always be five to me.

When our baby needs you - I know you will be there to guide her

I can't believe this happened to us.  I am grateful for the second chance we were able to receive.  I am grateful that that led to a beautiful gift of a baby.  She will hear you, talk to you, and love you just like Adelaide and Harrison.  When someone asks who her daddy is when she's 21 - she will say his name was Eric.  He's he best father I kind of had in real life, but I definitely have hi in my heart.

Uhoh, it's 12:15.  A big day tomorrow.  Hoping you will be here.  Hoping the move doesn't go horribly wrong.  Having the kids make you projects of love for you when you do come home.  I'll be thinking of you and feeling blessed that "the" day is NOT today.

With all of my admiration, thoughts, and love,

Your wife for eternity,



  1. oboy, oboy. I knew you had an isuue going on, but wasnt quite sure as to whatbut I knew it was BIG. A girlwho is on facbook I grew up with, we RECONNECTED on fb. I knew she had married and was happy I learned her husband had brain cancer, a few days later he passed. she had been on fb saying really sad things and talking morbid, two nights ago she really scared me to the point that I was going to have the authorities notified (I love this girl,very close friend) i keep reaching for her ad she would not respond, finally I broke down and told her the two worst things that happened to me in relationships and sent one of those cute little posters that are going round on fb, the one about your family, and she responded and said after reading what I told her she knows its going to be alright. to make this long story even longer thats how I knew you had something, the way you were acting but know this you will get through this I know it hurts, I know its "not fair" but we dont get to pick our live we just get to live it, but it will get better and you have a friend in me. if you just want to talk without being ALICEISCURIOUS , just plain alice, I will be here for you. I feel for you and am sorry, but i m here for you.

  2. Reading this,I am too thinking about when I woke up and reached out for my wife only to feel a empty bed. You're so right,its a awful feeling especially knowing why its happening. Thought your entry was beautiful and bravely written. Thank you for sharing your feelings on here Alyce. Know that its at least helping one other person...

  3. ...thank you so much for reading Michael. It's so incredibly hard. I am so grateful for this outlet. Otherwise I think I'd feel more alone. Wonder if that's possible?

  4. Another tear jerker....from the hospital hall way to the love letter I'm crying like a five year old, I can only imagine how incredibly hard this is for you, I so wish I could make time stand still and give you and the kids 20 more years with Eric. I hate this disease, I hate it!!!


Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Love - Alyce