Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life.
I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

February 24, 2012

So many Decisions To Make And Nobody Else To Blame if.....

...it's the wrong decision.

The reason people live where they do is either:

     A. You were born there and just couldn't get out.
     B. You went to college in that town and never left.
     C. You work in that city, whether you were transferred or otherwise.

I live where I do because I moved to this god forsaken state in 1998.  Moved here with a boy - said boy and I broke up immediately.  I wound up in bumfuck nowhere with nobody and no money.  Instead of moving back home to NY, I stayed, and stayed, and stayed.  After two years of living here I met my husband.  He's from Illinois so he's not really sure what it's like to NOT live in a  Midwestern town.  We got married and his career was in CHICAGO.  I didn't have much of a career, so the Midwest it was.

Even Fabulous Lake Michigan looks like a dick.

I would never have chosen to live here forever.  Who would actually choose to live in a state that is gray for about six months out of the year.  I ain't no math major but that sounds like half to me.  No matter how I got here, this is where we live, where we placed our roots, bought our home, and my husband's job it.  We are now, in a sense, trapped in whatever place caught our eye.

None of the reasons people live someplace fit me.  I'm not A or B or C.  I am actually D:

     D.  You have no ties to a state and are free to move anywhere you would like.  I mean anywhere on the planet.

That's a big big deal.  I remember when I was going to be a morning disc jockey in New York.  I wasn't going to use my real last name for fear of "crazy" fans.  I would have loved to have a crazy fan as it turned.  For one month I tried to find the most perfect name.  Most sounded like strippers and occasionally it might sound like a hooker.  At the last minute of the time I was given, as they had to do some advertising for the new show and stuff, I decided on ADAMS.  ALYCE ADAMS.  That took such incredible thought and mulling over and making sure it was exact and perfect.  It worked.  Perfect?  No

How the hell do you know if it's the RIGHT decision?
Holy shit that was a tangent.  I don't re-read my blog and and as I'm going through traumatic stress disorder which I have been experiencing since about month 7 of my husbands 11 month illness,  have no idea what I was talking about.

I think I was talking about where is the best place to live when you have a choice?  Well that really does depend on whether you are alone, with a parter, have kids, etc.  

I have no partner anymore since my husband died, but I do have 3 children that are depending on me to make life decisions that are good and smart!

Now I sit in a state that I have nothing but ill feelings for and wonder, is this the place that will give my children the best opportunities in life?  The most happiness and the most peace?  When you are given the planet as a piece of real estate for you to choose, how do you go about choosing?

My guess is you start by eliminating.  I.e. nowhere in the Middle East, Africa, Antarctica (pretty sure that's a continent) and so continents are eliminated completely one by one...until I wind up in Europe, America, South America, etc..  I'm sure there are a bunch I've forgotten to eliminate.  Anybody who knows me knows geography is just bad for me.
Where will the bullseye wind up?
Kind of a lot of choices

It's kind of like how we delete or add people or things in or out of our lives.  These/them I definitely don't need.  That narrows it down.  Then there's this I kinda still like, but I'm conflicted, and so on.

Living in a bunch of brick and mortar is fairly irrelevant as long as the people in it are together.   I know that is so slimy and sappy but it's really true.  My home is so comfortable.  People would come in and it would literally suck them in.  It's relaxed, it's comfortable, it's peace.  Are the walls, the furniture, the flooring to thank for that feeling?  Of course not, it's the people that inhabit that home.  Wouldn't then moving not be a big fucking deal?

As long as the "people/family" stay together, in theory they could live anywhere and still find that peace and comfort.

I will start by buying a giant world map.  It will be hung in my bedroom.  When I've decided, "nope we ain't gonna live there", I will take a straight edge and carefully carve out that part of the planet.  Eventually, I will be left with one sliver of paper and many many holes.  That one piece left will be the place we lay our heads.  Being together is why we call it home.

A wrong decision can't be made when we stay together.

You would be proud Eric.  Slow and steady.

I love you,



  1. Your first paragraph made me lol

    In previous generations, Heebs, since I assume you are of Jewish lineage, tended to flock near water sources, that way if need be, they could board a ship and sail like Streisand at the end of Yentl. This is still common practice for European Jewry visa vis Scotland to the West, apparently. Circa WW2, as you are aware, Euro Jewry also struggled to obtain Visas to places as exotic as Sosua (Dominican Republic), Shanghai (China), as well as Manila, Marikina, and Mindanao of The Philippines. Sosua, the Philippine Cities, and the Jewish Autonomous Oblast are arguably extension of Israel, now, since diplomats (who, in that era, were not so hot and were often incarcerated for smuggling Refugees) granted land rights to fleeing Jews, ergo Jews own those "Refuge Cities"

    So. Keep in mind what regions are volatile, when considering relocation, which pretty much is everywhere, except Brooklyn, where People are too busy scrambling to worry about foreign invasion.

    Also, for your Kids' sake, they might enjoy building sand castles and swimming in the ocean on occasion, with proper supervision, but, then again, you can always invest in a slippinslide or sprinkler or reasonable pool.

    In terms of Real Estate, The Philippines is hot and affordable, right now. Singapore is pricey, but again, competitive. All of East Asia is, practically, but I would avoid Northeast Asia.

    Domestically, Hawai'i is pleasant, but struggling fiscally as much as California, as is the entire USA. Avoid Southwest. The rural/farms of Northeast or Florida is you're best bet, Alyce and Company, if y'all decide to fly, besides Eretz Yisra'el.


Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Love - Alyce