The amount of people that are Pitshetsh (Yiddish for constant complaining) is amazing. With that said, they have earned the right to complain. They're old, they're sick, they're dying, and they're pissed about it.
My husband does not fit in with this group of alt cackas <sp. yiddish for old people> These people look like it's their time to go. My husband does not. To this day he looks healthy. My understanding is he will continue to look like this until his end.
The picture below is of the sad and endless hallway I got to walk down last night after kissing my husband goodnight and goodbye. There was nobody else there. Nobody. Just me with my thoughts of walking alone. By myself. Nobody's hand to hold. Nobody to help keep me and my kids safe. Just me and the hallway.
|Looks very similar to the hallway in the movie The Shining. And felt the same.|
- Lorelei was only 7 months old when her daddy went into the hospital cause his cough wouldn't go away.
- Lorelei was only 7 months old when we found out her daddy had a very rare cancer.
- Lorelei was only 7 months old when we found out the prognosis for this disease is poor.
- Lorelei was only 7 months old when without knowing her life soon would go in a direction none of us had ever suspected.
|Our baby daughter turned 18 months today.|
- How are we at the place where my husband is in the hospital and the doctors are trying to tweak his meds to keep his pain under control?
- How are we here so quickly where my husband can no longer take a walk with the dog he loves so much, as his legs are no longer working?
- How are we here so quickly at the place where my kids need to visit their Dad in our bedroom.
- Time flies when you're having fun is not true - it also flies when someone has an incurable disease that will one day take them away from you.
- How the fuck did we get here so quickly?
I am aware that you are never prepared for this to happen. But if we could possibly put it off for another 20 years or so when my darling husband is 67 it would still suck but would be better. So all I am asking for is another couple of decades. Shouldn't be such a big deal to get right?
I received an email today from a woman who lost her husband 5 years ago when her children where 13 and 15. The email told me that I will never have a partner who cares about my children as much as my husband and I do. How true that is. They will never have their daddy to look over to and find his grin that is full of pride. This is all true... I know for sure that I have enough love for my children that just because they can't see my husband's grin doesn't mean they won't know it and feel it through me.
In February we thought the prognosis was perhaps 10 years. Then it was 5 years. Then it was 2. Then we kinda stopped asking.
I walked a long lonely hallway yesterday crying out loud; thinking that this will be my walk forever. Then I got home. Our baby ran to me screaming, "Mommy Mommy" and kissed my lips...my bigs kids ran over, "Hi Mom and both also kissed me. It was at that time I realized I wasn't walking the hallway alone - I was just walking down the hallway by myself at that moment.
Seize your moments together. Cause time flies whether it's fun or sucks ass.