Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life.
I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

December 24, 2011

New Comfort Quilt People

New Fabulous Folks Who Signed 
The Comfort Quilt

Wolf Blitzer CNN
Matt Lauer as I prefer to Remember Him

Vince Gill

Amy Grant

Yup it's Alice

December 16, 2011

Check out what's new. Comfort Quilt & More!!

More Celebrity Love for the Comfort Quilt


A Great Story About People that 


That's Right  SHANIA TWAIN signed the Comfort Quilt!!

Nancy Grace
Deborah Roberts & Al Roker
Secretary of State John Boehner
Tony Hawk


Vinnie Politan

Brad Paisley

Rick Springfield
Jack Wagner

Ronnie Dunn

December 11, 2011

More Wonderful People Who Have Signed The Comfort Quilt

NEW people have signed the Comfort Quilt.  
I will get to who in a moment.  First, I want to tell you about the goodness of people...specifically strangers.

Yesterday, we had a volunteer vacuum our home and do some laundry.  A wonderful woman named Barbara took time out of her Saturday - left her family at home - to help mine.  Her son had gone through the hospice program and she felt the "need" to give back.  Before she left her home her husband said, "You don't vacuum our home and your going to vacuum a strangers home?"   I hugged her.


A person who freely offers to take part in an enterprise or undertake a task.

Most of the celebrities who have signed the Comfort Quilt are strangers to me.  Most of the people who found celebrities willing to sign the Comfort Quilt are also strangers to me.  I think a better definition of stranger might be:

strangersplural of stran·ger (Noun)

  1. A person whom one does not know YET or with whom one is not familiar YET

Here they are!!! 
The most recent fabulous folks who have signed


Donny & Marie Osmond

Sean Hannity
Alan Colmes

Bill O'Reilly
John Stossel
Len Berman
Gloria Steinem
T.J. Miller
Monica Crowley
Robin Meade
Luke Holloway

We are not done yet!!!  Please keep telling your friends and 
so on and so on and so on.

With much love,


December 9, 2011

Two Things you can't control - when you're born and when you die.

So we're born.  Not that we asked to be born. 

Hopefully you're born into a family that's got good values, morals, are compassionate and fun.  They're full of pride and love to love and be loved.  

You go along your life.  You then marry.  O.K. I skipped a few decades.

You divorce.  (It was 6 weeks, but it seemed a lot longer.)

You marry again - this time with a different pro/con checklist.

You have kids, twins of course.

Two dogs are bought to help cure the "I want more kids illness."

Walah, you're pregnant and 44.  Kids 9 years apart.  Perfect for us.

A beautiful baby girl named, Lorelei was 35 weeks and 5 days old or 7 months 6 days when her daddy was diagnosed with Stage IV Renal Cell Carcinoma. 

Diagnosis is poor.

Family meeting is called.  That's actually a meeting, where everyone in the family meets in the family room and we talk about something "serious".

"You're dad is sick.  He has cancer."  A lot of crying.

9 months later, well maybe I'll be more exact....8 months and 30 days ago...I'll life was good - not great - like people pretend their lives are but good.

An "end" date or the day you die was discussed in very general terms.

YES your cancer is extremely rare, yes it's inoperable and we have no therapy for you....the good news is I have patients that have lived for 6 years.

O.K. I'm not great at math - but it puts me at 51 - our 9. y.o. twins at 15 - our 7 months old baby at 6 years and 1 month.  It's puts my husband 53.

How can we get a number.  Most people walk around assuming there is no end insight.  I mean I know I'm gonna die, but not in real life, and certainly NOT when I'm aware.

Then your told that you have less than a decade.

Whoops.   Hold on.

Things aren't working so well, we are changing  our guess.  We are going to recalculate at 1 year minimum - 3 year likely - 5 year "eh"

I'm not doing the math and but that makes my youngest baby at 5 years and 1 month.  Too young for your daddy to die.  But perhaps that won't happen.

Secret conversation, at six months A.D....that's After Dianosis...I ask...how long really.  "It's not good."  I say not a thing.

So how close to your death do you want to know?  Do you want to be told you've got 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 2 months, 2 weeks.  I'm certainly not sure if it were me I'd want to know.

Would you sit in the corner of your unpainted room and curl up and bang your head against the wall?  OR would you look death in face and say "I'm gonna stand up and walk to death.  Smelling the smells, soaking up the sun, kissing my family."

Who really knows how they will feel when the time has come for them to no longer exist.  (I'm not religious, or I would probably say in the flesh.)  Because guess what, the time is going to come.  I think no matter how old or young you're kinda like, "Fuck, now."

Have you ever really lived enough to be ready to die.

Is there a chart?

Score 1-10 (haven't lived enough at all)
Score 11-30 (kinda lived but ahh...screwed around too much and didn't live up to everyone's expectations
Score 31-50 (yup you can die now...great job, a couple great kids, house, yada yada)
Score 50& up (oy, I'm tired already enough is enough)

So somehow we got screwed and ended up with a score of 42.  So, behind our curtain is an early death leaving a young widow and three very sad children.

Everything ends
Well this sucks ass.

The End

P.S.  This was not edited.  I'm sure you can tell with the following words their, thought, and a few other words I consistently screw up.  Sorry

December 6, 2011

There once was a ....

I have been receiving inspirational stories from many well meaning people lately.  

Stories about those who have...


Beaten the odds of a poor diagnosis of cancer.  They are now running through the meadows and frolicking with laughter and gaiety.

Those incredibly stoic souls who look death in the eye and laugh.  Mwaha. Looking forward to what is the next step of their journey.


There are the regular folk who are genuinely afraid of losing a loved one.  Knowing that they will never see them "in the flesh"  Never hold their hand or have them rub your feet til you fall asleep.

There are those that are genuinely afraid of dying not knowing what is in the "deep beyond."  Those who believe that is is unfair to them.  Those that don't wish this upon their most hated neighbor, and DON'T wish this for themselves.

I have been forced to talk about faith and what it is I believe.  Well, the simple answer is...how the hell am I supposed to know?  I've never been dead, nor have I known anyone personally who is dead that I can ask for some inside info on how it is.

Favorite Question

If you only had 6 months to live; what would you do?  Pick me, pick me.
  1. Travel to Europe
  2. Jump out of an airplane
  3. Kiss a total hot stranger
  4. Make amends with all those you've done wrong to
  5. Frolick by the ocean
Let me give you a hint on reality.  None of that happens.  Instead:
  1. You ask is it really important that I go to Eurpoe instead of being with my family
  2. You kinda figure jumping out of a plane might shorten even your 6 months
  3. Are afraid of catching a cold when your immune system is compromised, so pass on the kiss.
  4. 'F' the people who've done you wrong; they're still a'holes.
  5. Take a warm hot tub it's closer.
I've read articles that make dying seem "dreamy".  A time to look deep within. There's nothing dreamy about leaving your wife a widow; your children to wonder how their lives may have been different if daddy hadn't died; and the rest of everyone else in your circle scared shitless that it coulda easily been them.

Maybe these articles were written by Buddha or Dahli Lama.  
Maybe as they should be, these people were only thinking of themselves.  Either way it seems like a:

...The End

December 5, 2011

...The things I love and loathe.

This is what I do when not talking about...
Love up my friends

Ellen brought this for desert.  DELISH
Pigs on a Blanket <not really>

Starbucks cawfee - Made INCORRECTLY

Gina Brought This - Pasta Prosciutto 
Spinach Dip Con Pita Crisps
Chocolate Covered Almonds
Some of us clean.

Some of us do what we do best.

As long as we do it together it's all o.k.

December 3, 2011

Granting Dreams.Org is AMAZING!!

Dear friends, 
For those that are new to my blog.  My 47 y.o. husband is battling (dumb word) Stage IV Kidney Cancer.  We have 9 y.o. courageous and amazing boy/girl twins and a beautiful 16 month old baby girl.  
Happy Time With Daddy
After my husband's diagnosis, my daughter decided to make a quilt for him.  A quilt that would cover him in love. We asked family, friends and celebrities to sign a piece of fabric and mail it back to us.  We named it the...

Through word of mouth, sharing viral videos, messages, FB, and with the help of friends and strangers alike; we have received signed pieces of fabric from:

Shaq, Sam McMurray, Chynna Phillips, General Hospital 

Cast, BruceWeitz, Charlie Sheen, Survivor, The Chicago

Bears, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ralph Covert, Stiller & Meara, 

Astronaut Greg Chaitoff, Joan Rivers, Jerry Krause, Michael 

Douglas, President George Bush Sr., Sofia Vergera, 

Cast of Young & Restless, Joe Maloof, Phillipe Cousteau, Nub 

OC Choppers, Pat Foley Blackhawks, John P. Daley. 

More pieces of fabric are being signed right now.  We 
are just waiting for them to come back. 

The world - in case you didn't get it.

What I'm about to tell you is out of this world.

A woman, <we'll call her Linda, because that's her name> called me from the organization...

Granting Dreams.Org <click, and I mean it> 

has offered to help to get signatures for the...  
 AND is trying to get Shania Twain to come for lunch.  

This is my vision of what Granting Dreams would be if it were a place.
How You Can Help Granting Dreams.Org
Linda and I had a lengthy conversation.  What an amazing and inspirational woman she is.  Even if nothing comes of it, speaking with her has enhanced my life.

December 1, 2011

More Celebrities Sign Comfort Quilt

Chicago's John P. Daley

Phillipe Cousteau

Joe Maloof - Kings

United States navy Seal, Marcus Lutrell.  Received Navy Cross for his
actions in 2005 facing Taliban fighters during Operation Red Wing.
NY Times Bestseller

Pat Foley - Blackhaws

Home Free!!!!

I've taught my children that it doesn't matter where 
you are, as long as you're...

...with your family.

Our home in a drawing

I have recently found out that being at the home 
where you live; is a lot better than being here even...

...with your family.

Our Home for the Last Week