Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life.
I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

December 6, 2011

There once was a ....

I have been receiving inspirational stories from many well meaning people lately.  

Stories about those who have...


Beaten the odds of a poor diagnosis of cancer.  They are now running through the meadows and frolicking with laughter and gaiety.

Those incredibly stoic souls who look death in the eye and laugh.  Mwaha. Looking forward to what is the next step of their journey.


There are the regular folk who are genuinely afraid of losing a loved one.  Knowing that they will never see them "in the flesh"  Never hold their hand or have them rub your feet til you fall asleep.

There are those that are genuinely afraid of dying not knowing what is in the "deep beyond."  Those who believe that is is unfair to them.  Those that don't wish this upon their most hated neighbor, and DON'T wish this for themselves.

I have been forced to talk about faith and what it is I believe.  Well, the simple answer is...how the hell am I supposed to know?  I've never been dead, nor have I known anyone personally who is dead that I can ask for some inside info on how it is.

Favorite Question

If you only had 6 months to live; what would you do?  Pick me, pick me.
  1. Travel to Europe
  2. Jump out of an airplane
  3. Kiss a total hot stranger
  4. Make amends with all those you've done wrong to
  5. Frolick by the ocean
Let me give you a hint on reality.  None of that happens.  Instead:
  1. You ask is it really important that I go to Eurpoe instead of being with my family
  2. You kinda figure jumping out of a plane might shorten even your 6 months
  3. Are afraid of catching a cold when your immune system is compromised, so pass on the kiss.
  4. 'F' the people who've done you wrong; they're still a'holes.
  5. Take a warm hot tub it's closer.
I've read articles that make dying seem "dreamy".  A time to look deep within. There's nothing dreamy about leaving your wife a widow; your children to wonder how their lives may have been different if daddy hadn't died; and the rest of everyone else in your circle scared shitless that it coulda easily been them.

Maybe these articles were written by Buddha or Dahli Lama.  
Maybe as they should be, these people were only thinking of themselves.  Either way it seems like a:

...The End

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Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Love - Alyce