Why Give A Crap What I Say? It's JUST me.

Why should you give a crap about me? I have no idea... BUT....I want to thank you for joining me on my journey of a super shitty - averagely happy - drama filled - absolutely hilariously funny life.
I clearly feel the need to spill my guts about what is happening in my life to people I don't know. The funniest most off color TRUE stories you've ever heard - and when you least expect it, you'll cry like a baby.

The photo you are seeing is "my" yard in the summer. A home is not a place it is the inhabitants that make it a home.

With love, Alyce

May 11, 2012

The Path of Least Resistance

Nothing I loathe more than country music.

Eric only LOVED  country music.


K.I.S.S.


It seemed like every single song dealt with guns, somebody fucking <I think usually not really willing to> drinkin' beer outta a can....you get it.

Our wedding song was Breathe by Faith Hill.  He chose that song, and I let him.  We saw Shania Twain in concert,  I bought the tickets for my husband, not for me.   This same man believed that Shania waved to him and there was a connection. 

Then there was a song; a song that really touched me inside.  (Eric introduced this song to me.)  It touched me not on the top of  my skin but much more deeply.  It was inside my heart.  I first heard it before Eric's death, but now when I listen and I wonder, why didn't he really listen to the words and take the road less travelled?

Take 3 minutes to read the Lyrics of this country song.  If you can, read it 
twice in 3 minutes then go on to read what I've written below.

I turned on the evening news
Saw a old man being interviewed
Turning a hundred and two today
Asked him what's the secret to life
He looked up from his old pipe
Laughed and said "All I can say is."

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth

Don't Blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

So I've been tryin' ta slow it down
I've been tryin' ta take it in
In this here today, gone tomorrow world we're livin' in

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster then you think
So Don't blink

Naw, don't blink
Life Goes Faster Than You Think


We have an air filtration system in our home.  It prevents colds and things.  Never thought we'd need some kind of system that prevents cancer, instead of dumb allergies or colds, in your home.   That was kind of a dumb purchase.  Every decision we made as a couple we talked about ad nauseum.  Too slow for me and way too quickly for him.  A decision would be agreed upon and unfortunately for me, once I said, "I have the right to change my mind."  In other words no deal is completely iron clad. Then was there ever really a deal anyway?

Eric is dead, this I am aware of.  I am making decisions for my family without deep, introspective thinking.  I am now the "Captain" of this ship and it is up to me which of course I take seriously.

Do I take the path of most?  This is the most comforting path there is.  It's not different, not exciting, but it is familiar.  I am comfortable here, and don't feel the need to go down a path that I don't even have a map of.

OR  

Do I take the "road less travelled"?  This is another phrase I loathe, in addition to "teachable moment."   Do you dare to change the path you are on and have been on for your lifetime.  Understand, that if this life is happy and comfortable, I applaud that.  I discovered that my life isn't happy.  This place that we live, was once a home.  Now it is brick and mortar.  

Our eleven year anniversary would have been March 2012, I blinked and my children are 10, 10, and 2.  I blinked again my husband is dead, and my children are still 10, 10, and 2 with no parent but me.   I am the lone Captain.

I've decided to take my family on a different path.  Guided is how I feel.  I am making life happen for me,  for us,  as opposed to letting life happen to me, to us.  What if I wait for life to happen and it just doesn't?  Life just decided to go by in a few blinks, and then (if you're very lucky, you can look back and smile - otherwise you lament all that you missed).

Would most people pick up and move their family out of state and expose them to a life that they've never known.  I want my children to say, I did better than my parents.  I want better for my children.  I am the Captain and I am steering them in a different and hopefully better direction.

Things are moving, life is progressing, I'm not going to waste it.  I'm going where I need to be, where I believe we should be.  I am going eyes wide open.

We love and miss you,


Alyce



3 comments:

  1. Wherever you go, he will be with you. Wherever you go, we will be with you. Godspeed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Go East! That is where the future is." ~ Professor Jonathan Adelman

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for taking the time to chat with me. Love - Alyce