|...the place we decided to tie the knot 3/31/2001|
"I wish Daddy was here." The theme of the vaction. Everyone (well not everyone), but everyone was there with a mom and a dad. Everyone except my three children. Dads throwing their kids over their heads into the water. Unfortunately, I am neither tall enough or strong enough to do that. Dads taking their kids fishing. Again, not in my skillset. Dads dancing with their daughters. We danced - Adelaide cried.
There was a glimmer of light. My son who is "Gifted in Spirit" <yes it's actually a "thing> opened his heart to a little boy. The boy was barely 2 y.o., and they formed a beautiful bond. Again, my son asked people we just met, "Can I get you anything?" He didn't love circus school as he thought people were in pain doing their tricks and that bothered him. Sharing his heart is something I haven't seen since January 21, 2012 - the day that cancer killed his father.
Our daughter sleeps with a shirt of her dads. Thinking the maid service accidentally took it was traumatic to say the least. It was eventually found and put in a very safe place for the next nights slumber.
We did meet a family without their dad being there. One mom and 4 kids. Eventually I found out that her husband had left them without a car the day after Christmas last year. When this mom told her daughter, who is 11, that Adelaide and Harrison's father died this was her response. "Well, at least he didn't just choose to leave them." I reiterated this story to my children. Explaining that daddy didn't choose to leave. They answered with, "I know that, but that doesn't help bring daddy back." I had no answer.
|No Couples Massage 3/31/2012|
We walked back into our home at midnight leaving behind 3/31/12 forever. The first of many wedding anniversaries with Eric that I will spend without him. Walking in I physically felt a little faint, light headed and disoriented to be back to the real world.
I am hoping next March we will spend the month <including our twins birthday and our anniversary> not with tears of sadness but with smiles of remembrance.