Not at this very minute!

This is the demon my husband is fighting...

I don't want the remainder of our time to be spent ONLY talking about f'ing cancer.

How do you get to the place where you just talk about the 

weather or politics or the Kardashians? 

Excuse me:  There's a knock on the door.  The white haired nurse shakes my 

finally sleeping husband awake to ask him.... 

How's your pain doin'?...  

It's interesting how sometimes a thought can appear in your minds eye like a movie.   

When I finally came to I was happy to see that I hadn't punched her in 

her red lipsticked lips.

As I was saying...I want to talk about the time we went to _____________ ;

or about the other time when we were naked at ___________________;

 or remember when we ate___________.

But there is no time for that...

No No No... 

We need to talk about this and only this... 

 Right now and always...

I just ain't gonna do that.  I'm gonna start talking about the fun times - the happy times - 

the times we laughed together - our beautiful children - the ocean that we did really once 

walk on - the wines we have shared - the foods we have loved - the love we have made. 

 I am not going to only talk about this sick and perverse cancer that is taking my husband.   

This will not be our only thought...

...at least not at this very minute.